{"id":1770,"date":"2009-03-17T14:16:13","date_gmt":"2009-03-17T12:16:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/dale-avocatilor.html"},"modified":"2009-03-17T14:16:13","modified_gmt":"2009-03-17T12:16:13","slug":"dale-avocatilor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/dale-avocatilor\/","title":{"rendered":"D&rsquo;ale avocatilor"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Cele ce urmeaza au fost extrase dintr-o carte numita &quot;Disorder in the American Courts&quot; si sunt lucruri reale spuse in timpul proceselor: <\/p>\n<p>AVOCATUL : Aceasta astenie grava va afecteaza memoria ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Da     <br \/>AVOCATUL : In ce fel va afecteaza memoria ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Uit     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Uitati ? Ne puteti da un exemplu de ceva pe care l-ati uitat ? <\/p>\n<p> <!--more-->  <\/p>\n<p>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026    <br \/>AVOCATUL : Doctore, e adevarat ca daca o persoana moare in somn, el nu-si va da seama de treaba asta pana a doua zi dimineata ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : E adevarat ca dumneata chiar ai trecut examenul de barou ?     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Fiul cel tanar, cel de douazeci de ani, ce varsta are ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Are 20 , cam ca si IQ-ul dumneavoastra     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Erati de fata cand v-a fotografiat ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Glumiti ?     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Deci data conceperii (bebelusului) a fost 8 August     <br \/>MARTORUL : Da     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Si ce faceati dumneavoastra atunci ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Cam ce credeti ca faceam ?     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Ea avea trei copii, asa e ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Da     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Cati din ei erau baieti ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Niciunul     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Era vreunul din copii fata ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Onorata&#160; Curte, cred ca am nevoie de un alt avocat. Pot sa-mi iau un alt avocat ?     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Cum s-a incheiat primul dumneavoastra mariaj ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Prin moarte     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Si prin moartea cui s-a incheiat ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Incercati sa ghiciti !     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Puteti descrie individul ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Cam de inaltime medie si purta barba.     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Era barbat sau femeie ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : In afara de cazul in care era vreun Circ in oras, as merge pe varianta barbat.     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Are aparitia dumneavoastra aici vreo legatura cu Nota de Dispozitie pe care am trimis-o avocatului dumneavoastra ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Nu , asa ma imbrac eu cand merg la serviciu     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Doctore, cate din autopsiile pe care le-ai facut au fost pe oameni morti ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Toate. Cei inca vii \u2026 se zabat prea mult !     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.     <br \/>AVOCATUL : TOATE raspunsurile dumneavoastra trebuie sa fie ORALE. Bine ? La ce scoala ati fost ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : ORALE.     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Va amintiti la ce ora ati examinat trupul ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Autopsia a inceput la ora 8.30 p.m.     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Si D-nul Denton era mort in acel moment ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Daca nu, in mod sigur a fost pana am terminat autopsia !     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Esti calificat sa dai o mostra de urina ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Dar dumneata chiar esti calificat sa pui intrebari ??     <br \/>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026     <br \/>Si \u2026 cireasa de pe tort !!!     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Doctore, inainte sa faci autopsia, ai cautat sa vezi daca mai avea puls ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Nu     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Ai controlat tensiunea ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Nu     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Ai verificat daca mai respira     <br \/>MARTORUL : Nu     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Deci e posibil ca pacientul sa fi fost inca viu atunci cand ai inceput autopsia ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Nu     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Cum poti fi sigur Doctore ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Pentru ca creierul lui statea pe o tavita pe biroul meu     <br \/>AVOCATUL : Inteleg, dar nu ar fi putut totusi ca pacientul sa fie viu, in ciuda acestui lucru ?     <br \/>MARTORUL : Ba da, e posibil sa fi fost viu si sa practice avocatura !<\/p>\n<p align=\"right\">[primita pe mail]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cele ce urmeaza au fost extrase dintr-o carte numita &quot;Disorder in the American Courts&quot; si sunt lucruri reale spuse in timpul proceselor: AVOCATUL : Aceasta astenie grava va afecteaza memoria ? MARTORUL : Da AVOCATUL : In ce fel va afecteaza memoria ? MARTORUL : Uit AVOCATUL : Uitati ? Ne puteti da un exemplu&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>D&rsquo;ale avocatilor<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/dale-avocatilor\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"criserb\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" 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