{"id":279,"date":"2007-09-12T11:55:21","date_gmt":"2007-09-12T08:55:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/condu-ca-un-bucurestean.html"},"modified":"2007-09-12T12:03:36","modified_gmt":"2007-09-12T09:03:36","slug":"condu-ca-un-bucurestean","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/condu-ca-un-bucurestean\/","title":{"rendered":"Condu ca un Bucurestean!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Au fost cateva persoane pe care le-am invatat sa conduca si sunt mandru de mine&#8230; acum am sa va predau o lectie noua, dar care e adresata in general bucurestenilor sau celor ce traverseaza minunata noastra capitala.<\/p>\n<p>Trebuie sa uiti tot ce ai invatat la scoala de soferi &#8211; asta in cazul in care ai\u00c2\u00a0facut-o&#8230; Daca nu ai facut-o sunt sigur ca o sa inveti chestiile de mai jos mult mai usor.<\/p>\n<p>Ok&#8230; so&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong><!--more-->I. Oprirea si stationarea<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Poti sa opresti unde vrei si sa stationezi cat vrei, cu conditia sa:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>nu fie vreun politist prin apropriere<\/li>\n<li>sa pui luminile de avarie, daca ai chef. Daca nu ai chef, se tine cont numai de punctul anterior.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong>II.Prioritatea<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In Bucuresti exista urmatoarele tipuri de prioritate:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>prioritatea de dreapta (optionala) &#8211; se aplica\u00c2\u00a0<u>numai<\/u> in cazul in care tu esti cel care vine din dreapta<\/li>\n<li>prioritate de tramvai<\/li>\n<li>prioritate de camion<\/li>\n<li>prioritate de taxi<\/li>\n<li>prioritate de smecher. Prioritatea de smecher se obtine prin unul din procedeele &#8220;ia-i fata&#8221;, &#8220;baga-te cu tupeu&#8221;, &#8220;taie-i calea&#8221; si &#8220;ia mai da-l dracului, ca n-o sa stau aici toata ziua&#8221;. Pietonii NU au prioritate niciodata.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong>III. Alte sfaturi la fel de utile<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Daca vrei sa fii un bucurestean veritabil trebuie sa tii cont de urmatoarele recomandari privind circulatia pe drumurile publice:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Semnificatia culorilor semaforului:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&#8211; verde &#8211; treci fara probleme<br \/>\n&#8211; galben &#8211; repede ca se pune rosu<br \/>\n&#8211; rosu &#8211; repede, ca e ultima sansa pina sa le dea drumul celorlalti.<br \/>\n&#8211; astea de mai sus se aplica numa daca din intamplare vezi semaforul<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Daca este coada la stop si un sir lung de masini, iti recomandam tehnica &#8220;sirului shuntat&#8221;. In acest scop, mergi pe contrasens pe toata lungimea cozii de masini, pana ajungi la stop si apoi in virtutea<br \/>\nprioritatii de smecher (vezi si punctul anterior) reintri in coloana, in pole-position.<br \/>\nPoate ca stii deja. ;)<\/li>\n<li>Daca te afli al doilea la semafor, in secunda in care apare culoarea verde, sau chiar inainte sa se puna verde, trebuie sa apesi pe claxon, cat mai lung si mai insistent, pentru a-l zori pe mocaitul din fata. Un claxon viguros este expresia unei personalitati puternice deci, nu ezita!<\/li>\n<li>Daca esti prima masina de la stop si cineva te claxoneaza imediat cum se pune verde, opreste motorul, ia-ti bata de baseball (obligatorie, se tine sub scaun), da-te jos din masina, du-te la cel care te-a claxonat si sparge-i fata.\u00c2\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Pe timp de noapte circula obligatoriu cu faza lunga. Poti folosi faza lunga si ziua, atunci cand mergi cu viteza.<\/li>\n<li>Daca circuli noaptea si o masina vine din fata cu faza lunga, baga-i si tu faza lunga in fata, de cateva ori, intermitent. Farurile cu halogen dau efecte atat distractive cat si psihedelice.\u00c2\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Daca inaintea ta se afla cineva cu o masina care merge mai incet claxoneaza-l si baga-i faza lunga in ochi: sa se duca dracului acasa daca are masina si merge ca mortu&#8217;.<\/li>\n<li>Folositi claxonul cat mai mult, mai nervos si in mai multe tonalitati. Injura cu sete. Arata-i degetul mijlociu. Intai mana stanga, apoi ambele &#8211; in Bucuresti se poate conduce tinand volanul cu genunchii.<\/li>\n<li>Daca nu stii sa injuri, nu esti sofer. Daca nu stii sa injuri 20 de minute in sir fara sa te repeti, nu esti sofer bucurestean.<\/li>\n<li>Cand ploua, va puteti face ziua mai vesela trecand in viteza cu masina prin baltoace in asa fel incat sa improscati cat mai multi pietoni, sau unul dar bine. Daca improscati pietoni aflati in travesare regulamentara pe zebra, obtineti un bonus de stil.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Lectia de mai sus a fost elaborata impreuna cu <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/50.dartadesign.ro\/\">Octavian<\/a>, care s-a hotarat sa isi ia Seat Leon galben&#8230; sa se faca mai usor inteles in trafic&#8230; Masina\u00c2\u00a0contribuie mult la obtinerea efectului de smecher<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Au fost cateva persoane pe care le-am invatat sa conduca si sunt mandru de mine&#8230; acum am sa va predau o lectie noua, dar care e adresata in general bucurestenilor sau celor ce traverseaza minunata noastra capitala. Trebuie sa uiti tot ce ai invatat la scoala de soferi &#8211; asta in cazul in care ai\u00c2\u00a0facut-o&#8230;&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Condu ca un Bucurestean!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/condu-ca-un-bucurestean\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"criserb\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" 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