{"id":29015,"date":"2014-06-19T10:55:15","date_gmt":"2014-06-19T07:55:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/?p=29015"},"modified":"2014-06-19T10:55:15","modified_gmt":"2014-06-19T07:55:15","slug":"umor-cu-avocati","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/umor-cu-avocati\/","title":{"rendered":"Umor cu avoca\u021bi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cele ce urmeaz\u0103 au fost extrase dintr-o carte numit\u0103 Disorder in the Court<\/strong><\/em> (o pute\u021bi cump\u0103ra de aici<\/a>) \u015fi sunt lucruri reale spuse \u00een timpul proceselor.<\/p>\n

\"rasete\"<\/a><\/p>\n

AVOCATUL : Aceast\u0103 astenie grav\u0103 v\u0103 afecteaz\u0103 memoria ?
\nMARTORUL : Da
\nAVOCATUL : \u00cen ce fel v\u0103 afecteaz\u0103 memoria ?
\nMARTORUL : Uit
\nAVOCATUL : Uita\u0163i? Ne pute\u0163i da un exemplu de ceva pe care l-a\u0163i uitat ?<\/p>\n

\n

AVOCATUL : Doctore, e adev\u0103rat c\u0103 dac\u0103 o persoan\u0103 moare \u00een somn, el nu-\u015fi va da seama de treaba asta p\u00e2n\u0103 a doua zi diminea\u0163a?
\nMARTORUL: E adev\u0103rat c\u0103 dumneata chiar ai trecut examenul de barou ?<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

AVOCATUL: Fiul cel tanar, cel de dou\u0103zeci de ani, ce v\u00e2rst\u0103 are?
\nMARTORUL: Are 20, cam ca \u015fi IQ-ul dumneavoastr\u0103<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

AVOCATUL : Era\u0163i de fa\u0163\u0103 c\u00e2nd v-a fotografiat ?
\nMARTORUL : Glumi\u0163i ?<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

AVOCATUL: Deci data conceperii (bebelu\u015fului) a fost 8 August?
\nMARTORUL : Da
\nAVOCATUL : \u015ei ce f\u0103cea\u0163i dumneavoastr\u0103 atunci ?
\nMARTORUL : Cam ce crede\u0163i c\u0103 f\u0103ceam ?<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

AVOCATUL : Ea avea trei copii, a\u015fa e ?
\nMARTORUL : Da
\nAVOCATUL : C\u00e2\u0163i din ei erau b\u0103ie\u0163i ?
\nMARTORUL : Niciunul
\nAVOCATUL : Era vreunul din copii fat\u0103 ?
\nMARTORUL : Onorat\u0103 Curte, cred c\u0103 am nevoie de un alt avocat. Pot s\u0103-mi iau un alt avocat ?<\/p>\n

\n

AVOCATUL : Cum s-a \u00eencheiat primul dumneavoastr\u0103 mariaj ?
\nMARTORUL : Prin moarte.
\nAVOCATUL : \u015ei prin moartea cui s-a \u00eencheiat ?
\nMARTORUL : \u00cencerca\u0163i s\u0103 ghici\u0163i !<\/p>\n

\n

AVOCATUL : Pute\u0163i descrie individul ?
\nMARTORUL : Cam de \u00een\u0103l\u0163ime medie \u015fi purta barb\u0103.
\nAVOCATUL : Era b\u0103rbat sau femeie?
\nMARTORUL : \u00cen afar\u0103 de cazul \u00een care era vreun Circ \u00een ora\u015f, a\u015f merge pe varianta b\u0103rbat.<\/p>\n

\n

AVOCATUL : Are apari\u0163ia dumneavoastr\u0103 aici vreo legatur\u0103 cu Nota de Dispozi\u0163ie pe care am trimis-o avocatului dumneavoastr\u0103 ?
\nMARTORUL : Nu, a\u015fa m\u0103 \u00eembrac eu c\u00e2nd merg la serviciu.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

AVOCATUL : Doctore, c\u00e2te din autopsiile pe care le-ai f\u0103cut au fost pe oameni mor\u0163i ?
\nMARTORUL : Toate. Cei \u00eenc\u0103 vii . se zbat prea mult !<\/p>\n

\n

AVOCATUL : TOATE r\u0103spunsurile dumneavoastr\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 fie ORALE. Bine ? La ce \u015fcoal\u0103 a\u0163i fost ?
\nMARTORUL : ORALE.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

AVOCATUL : V\u0103 aminti\u0163i la ce or\u0103 a\u0163i examinat trupul ?
\nMARTORUL : Autopsia a \u00eenceput la ora 8.30 p.m.
\nAVOCATUL : \u015ei D-nul Denton era mort \u00een acel moment ?
\nMARTORUL : Dac\u0103 nu, \u00een mod sigur a fost p\u00e2n\u0103 am terminat autopsia !<\/p>\n

\n

AVOCATUL : E\u015fti calificat s\u0103 dai o mostr\u0103 de urin\u0103 ?
\nMARTORUL : Dar dumneata chiar e\u015fti calificat s\u0103 pui \u00eentreb\u0103ri ??<\/p>\n

\n

\u015ei . cirea\u015fa de pe tort !!!<\/p>\n

AVOCATUL : Doctore, \u00eenainte s\u0103 faci autopsia, ai c\u0103utat s\u0103 vezi dac\u0103 mai avea puls ?
\nMARTORUL : Nu
\nAVOCATUL : Ai controlat tensiunea ?
\nMARTORUL : Nu
\nAVOCATUL : Ai verificat dac\u0103 mai respira?
\nMARTORUL : Nu
\nAVOCATUL : Deci e posibil ca pacientul s\u0103 fi fost \u00eenc\u0103 viu atunci c\u00e2nd ai \u00eenceput autopsia ?
\nMARTORUL : Nu
\nAVOCATUL : Cum po\u0163i fi sigur Doctore ?
\nMARTORUL : Pentru c\u0103 creierul lui st\u0103tea pe o t\u0103vi\u0163\u0103 pe biroul meu.
\nAVOCATUL : \u00cen\u0163eleg, dar nu ar fi putut totu\u015fi ca pacientul s\u0103 fie viu, \u00een ciuda acestui lucru ?
\nMARTORUL : Ba da, e posibil s\u0103 fi fost viu \u015fi s\u0103 practice avocatura !<\/p>\n

10x Flori, via<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cele ce urmeaz\u0103 au fost extrase dintr-o carte numit\u0103 Disorder in the Court (o pute\u021bi cump\u0103ra de aici) \u015fi sunt lucruri reale spuse \u00een timpul proceselor. AVOCATUL : Aceast\u0103 astenie grav\u0103 v\u0103 afecteaz\u0103 memoria ? MARTORUL : Da AVOCATUL : \u00cen ce fel v\u0103 afecteaz\u0103 memoria ? MARTORUL : Uit AVOCATUL : Uita\u0163i? Ne pute\u0163i…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":29016,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1084,6225,7074,1845,6226],"yoast_head":"\nUmor cu avoca\u021bi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.criserb.com\/blog\/umor-cu-avocati\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"criserb\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" 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